The idea that I am a caregiver did not hit me until I attended an OCO webinar a few years ago. I realized that what I have been doing for most of my adult life is being a caregiver. My first caregiving journey was with my mother who faced complex chronic conditions for years and until her passing from cancer. I remember taking on many new and different roles while navigating school and work responsibilities. I did not know the ‘rules’ to being a caregiver, nor was I comfortable talking to anyone about it. I saw this as a family situation and that it was my responsibility as a daughter to take on these duties. Trying to juggle everything while not asking for support had a negative impact on me. It was only in my next caregiving journey that I realized that I could not do it alone anymore.
I am currently a caregiver to my father with concurrent disorders and this journey has been a challenging one. I thought I was more prepared this time around, but after the COVID-19 pandemic began, a ‘perfect storm’ of events happened. It became more unmanageable for me, and navigating the multiple systems of care, especially during and after times of crisis, was increasingly difficult. I realized that I was in need of more support, but I was private about my experience because of stigma and shame. Eventually, I learned that being more open with others about my experience can be life changing.
Since joining OCO as a volunteer peer mentor two years ago and being part of the development of resources for caregivers, it has enabled me to share my experiences with others in similar situations, which in turn supports me. In fact, it has been instrumental in my caregiving journey with my father. I realize that I am not alone, and there are opportunities to share strategies with others who understand.
I have come to realize that my caregiver identity is a core part of who I am, and throughout the years that I have stumbled through, I know that I am learning as I go – and I continue to do so. It can be easy to let the negative parts of caregiving take over, but by sharing and transforming my caregiving experiences in purposeful and meaningful ways, I can see the things in a more balanced way. The journey continues, but at least I have more tools now.